Pushing Through

This year, for me, has been a series of unfortunate events. Hot on the heels of a health crisis for my Dad, a tree blew into my house causing significant damage and forcing us to move and me to quickly rethink everything to keep my business at least ticking over. Then, just when I thought I was finally getting back on track, I fell over and smashed up my wrist.

My arm after falling over and smashing my wrist.

Before that happened I was fairly exhausted and a little bit tired of picking myself up, dusting myself off and keep on keeping on. So the broken arm was a real blow. Not only that, but I need surgery to put all the pieces back together. Again I’m having to scramble around to rearrange classes and of course I can’t do artwork while my wrist is in a cast and so painful.

More than once in the last few months I have felt like giving up, planting myself in a corner and having the melt down I felt I deserved to have. My fundamental Christian upbringing had me asking what I had done to deserve such misfortune (that’s how the church often explains why god lets bad stuff happen to us). Then I read about Magda Szubanski’s stage 4 cancer, and I realised two things: 1. My circumstances could always be worse and 2. Bad stuff happens to good people.

All. The. Time.

Ultimately though, falling in a heap won’t help me and would just add fuel to the erroneous Christian argument that you will have a sweet life if you just pray enough or self-flagellate or something. Life can be and often is tough. For everyone, not just me. And it’s how we deal with it and help others to deal with it that matters.

So why am I talking about all this in an art blog? Well, it’s much the same thing with making art. Often, almost always, in my opinion, an artwork hits a stage where it is going off the rails a bit. At this stage your choice is to either give up on it or push through the hard bit and see what happens. Many people take the first option, citing their lack of ability, mine as their teacher or some other reason why they shouldn’t continue.

I’ve no doubt that fear of failure plays a big part here. But often, so does fear of success. If the outcome is successful (even if its not what you expected) you are faced with a new challenge – to make another artwork. You also have to accept that to some extent you need to surrender control to the creative process. And surrendering control is not something a lot of us like to do.

For example, I am not loving the image below. I like parts of it but on the whole I don't think the colours or composition are working. It is definitely at the stage where I am not sure what to try next. But if I want the work to be resolved, I have to keep going - to push through. Whatever I do will be highly experimental and may or may not work. I may add or take away. There is risk. But equally some of my best work is created this way...when I give in to the process and let the work tell me what it needs.

Work in progress, watercolour, 2025.

Another work I did years ago was when I was teaching myself how to use Epoxy Resin. Half way through I panicked and tried to pour out the resin which had developed too many air bubbles. I ended up with sticky resin everywhere and vowed never to use it ever again. But my mentor at that time convinced me to keep going, embrace the maximalist and somewhat kitsch effect created by the hardened resin and add even more to the work. So I did and I was quite pleased with the result.

Genesis, mixed media with glass, fabric, acrylic paint, fibre, wood, fabric and resin. Ann Russell 2009.

One thing is certain. If you don’t push through the difficult stage, the artwork will never be resolved, destined to be stuck in limbo forever, or perhaps for land fill. It won’t serve as a learning tool or experiment either. And giving up may stop you from progressing any further in your creative endeavours.

I’m not saying that every artwork is going to be a huge success as an artwork. Its success may lie in what it has taught you, how it has expanded you or even helped you define what you are interested in (or not interested in). And there’s no doubt that pushing through can be painful.

There is always the chance that I may go through the pain and inconvenience of surgery and not get back the full functionality of my hand. That’s a scary thought given that my damaged hand is my dominant hand – the one I use to write and paint with. And the process of recovery will be long, difficult, costly and painful as well as inconvenient. But according to my surgeon, if I don’t go through that process, there will definitely be lasting issues with my hand. I have to push through if I want to regain any kind of use of my hand.

The same applies to my art and yours as well. In the words of Winston Churchill, never, never, never give up.